Best laid plans

Today did not exactly go according to plan. Rather than beginning the day at 7.30 with a revitalising yoga class, we began the day at 2am with George doing a giant yak. And things didn't get much better from there. No sooner had we congratulated ourselves on (almost) getting through India unscathed, George came down with a massive bout of gastro.

Neither of us got a whole lot of sleep, and poor George spent the entire day in the hotel room between bed and the bathroom. I didn't get a whole lot done either, other than reading somewhere between 200-300 pages of various books. I spent the first half of the day in the hotel room being sympathetic before I started going mad and had to get out, so I went outside and sat beside the water and polished off one of my books.

After this I went to one of the restaurants and had a masala dosa for lunch before returning to the hotel room for more sympathy and fell asleep on the divan looking out over the harbour. Around 5 I gently and respectfully coaxed George out of bed and we went and sat near the pool and I had a beer while he had a 7Up and one quarter of a dry piece of toast. We then moved inside to the bar where I had another beer and George sipped on a bottle of water. By the time we were done with that we were well and truly over it so we're now back in the hotel room trying to stay awake until a reasonable hour before we can go to bed.

So not a particularly successful first Valentine's Day as a married couple...

George seems to be on the mend now, although not 100% after eating nothing today and barely keeping down any liquids. Hopefully he should be back to normal tomorrow, since we'll be picked up by the travel dudes at 10 to take us to Alleppey to board our houseboat for the next two nights. It's safe to say that there will be no wi-fi on the boat, so there will be no more entries until the 17th when we return here for our final night in India - and as much as I hate to say it, we're quite looking forward to that! But, we don't want to rush through the last days of our holiday, and I'm sure we'll have a good time. Hopefully on our last day here we'll actually get the chance to get to Fort Cochin and see more than the compound of this very nice but very expensive hotel.

The $25 gin and tonic

Yes, we paid $25 for a gin and tonic. Times two, in fact. And that’s only the beginning to the mega expense that is part of staying at the Taj Malabar.

But first, our final night in Bangalore which, as promised, involved a bar/pub crawl followed by a great big dinner in true Indian style.

We started by going out at around 3 for a late lunch at a tapas place, but once again became completely confused by the outright wrong directions on the map the hotel gave us. By the time we finally found the place, we were hot, thirsty and grumpy, but after a lime and soda, some fairly average tapas and a large bottle of Kingfisher, we were in far better spirits and set out to sample as many of Bangalore’s bars as we could.

First we went to a place called ‘Scottish Pub’, which, surprisingly, sold nothing but jugs of Kingfisher and carafes of no-name ‘claret’.

We had two jugs of beer here before walking on to a place called Koshy’s, which is renowned with travellers – so renowned, in fact, that it was completely full, so we continued on down the bustling Church Street to a crazy bar called Nasa. This place is completely decked out like a spaceship, complete with blue lights, circular doorways and cocktails named after space clichés. The bizarreness of the experience was accentuated by a table of Indian businessmen entertaining Japanese investors, amidst the doof doof and riff raff.

Somewhat overwhelmed by the environment I (George) ‘accidentally’ ordered an entire pitcher of beer to myself:

while Bec, slightly more sensibly, got a cocktail called a Comet – a gin-based number with orange juice and rose syrup. That was tasty. Unsurprisingly I was a tad untidy after pantloads of beer, and with Bec’s support I stumbled down Church Street in search of the ideal eating spot. We settled on Oh! Amritsar, one of several restaurants in a mid-rise building on Church. We started with dodgy local cocktail (mine tasted like toilet, and Bec’s was saltier than an anchovy) and moved onto entrees – mine was a chicken leg stuffed with lamb, and Bec had prawns of some type. The main was gargantuan:

Paneer and spinach dumplings stuffed with mushrooms in a mega-rich tomato-based gravy. Yum. But it was too much, and we stumbled out to argue with an auto-rickshaw driver, who not only gave us the desired price but also let me – highly inadvisably – drive the last few hundred metres. We made it, somehow.

This morning was a hectic rush, but we made it to the airport and, after another uneventful flight, we were met by our tour operators in Kerala. We were driven one and a half hours in great comfort to our super-luxe hotel on Willingdon Island in Cochin, the Taj Malabar. Handing over to Bec now...

This place is absolutely amazing – after putting our bags through their very thorough security system, we were guided to our room, which looks out on the harbour below:

We had a brief rest before going down for lunch in one of the hotel’s four restaurants. The food was about on par with Australian prices, which was a bit of a shock after eating $1-$10 meals for the last couple of weeks, but we decided to not worry about money too much since this is one of our last stops, and it is our honeymoon after all.

We also explored around the grounds, which are literally right on the seafront:

There are some free things here, however. At 5pm we went on the hotel’s complimentary sunset boat cruise around the harbour, which was quite cool. They made us wear dicky lifejackets:

There were heaps of dolphins in the harbour, even closer than those we saw in Goa. We also saw the Chinese cantilevered fishing nets off Fort Cochin:

And returned to the hotel just in time for a great sunset (the photo unfortunately does not do it justice) and a gin and tonic.

And this was where we learned a little more about how expensive it is to stay in such a hotel. Our G&Ts finished, we were shocked when we received a bill for 2000 rupees (around $50). We questioned the bill only to be told that we had been charged a 90% value added tax because it was imported liquor. We were still not satisfied with this explanation, until after several enquiries we discovered that this is a law throughout Kerala, and that somehow we had managed to order double shots rather than singles. A very expensive mistake, but it still smarts a little.

We then had a somewhat cheaper local version of a G&T inside before going to the ‘Rice Boat’ for dinner. Here we had an over-priced bottle of Indian viognier and a couple of very tasty curries – a prawn malabari (with scampi) and fish Alleppey (ground coconut and green mango).

After this we returned to the haven of our hotel room only to discover that our room had been entered while we were gone and we were left some petit fours desserts plus an elephant made out of towels:

We still haven’t dissembled the elephant because he’s so cute.

Internet here is crazy expensive (of course) – around $4 for 30 minutes, so we’re typing up our blog on the computer and then cutting and pasting online as quickly as we can.

Our plan for tomorrow is to begin with a free yoga class on the front lawns, and then go over to Fort Cochin to look around and get at least one cheap meal while we’re here, and then have dinner on the terrace overlooking the sea (there’s an all you can eat seafood buffet every night) especially for Valentine’s Day…awwww.

Gardens, temples and numerous photos with Indian dudes

Today got off to quite a late start (breakfast here is from 7-11, which of course means that we went down at 10.30) with a tasty breakfast at the cottages we're staying at, before the European owner organised an auto-rickshaw to take us around the sites of Bangalore. There are three or four drivers who they trust who charge people 100 rupees per hour (or around $3.50) to take tourists around and wait for them at each place, and our driver proved to be a jolly fellow who only took us to the places we asked and without the usual bamboozling to which we have grown accustomed.

Today happens to be Mahashivatri, one of the most auspicious days of the year, and everyone dresses in their best and goes to visit temples where they may wait in line for up to two hours to go into the temple. There were also many weddings happening all over the city, and it was kind of cool to see everyone happy and celebrating and wearing their most colourful saris.

We started with a visit to Lalbagh Botanic Gardens, which is 240 acres of gardens, complete with lakes, topiaries and big bloody trees:

It was quite a tranquil place amid the noise, chaos and pollution of Bangalore and quite a nice place to stroll around. It even had specific bins for spitting into so as not to spread disease and filth:

Once again we were subjected to many requests from young Indian dudes to be in their photos, so this time we asked them to reciprocate and take a photo of us with them! Note the guy on the left side staring at my rack (something I am kind of getting used to, although not exactly enjoying):

After this our driver took us to the Nandi temple, another giant statue of a black bull. This time we went inside the temple, and it was an interesting experience to watch the devotees touching the statue and then touching their heads, as well as dipping their fingers in powders and oils and smearing it on their hair. While neither of us are remotely religious, we agreed that it is very cool that Hindus show such reverence for animals.

Once we had emerged from the temple we took a stroll around the complex, which included some nice gardens, a lookout and a couple of other temples, along with numerous barefoot Indians drinking chai and eating tasty-looking food.

The driver then took us to Tipu Sultan's Palace, the residence of a Muslim ruler from a bloody long time ago. The entire thing was made of wood, and while not large compared with some of the other palaces we've seen, it was quite grand with enormous pillars and balconies from which the Sultan used to address his minions.

We then went to see Bangalore Palace, and luckily for us our driver advised against actually going in, since it cost something ridiculous like 500 rupees to enter. They do not look kindly on people taking photos of the outside without going in, so the driver drove us as close as we could get without having to pay and we took a couple of photos. The place was modeled on Windsor Castle in England, complete with ivy growing up the walls, and looked somewhat ridiculous standing in the centre of India. Hence we have not bothered including a photo here.

After the requisite 'do you want to stop at a shop to buy pashminas/jewellery' question, which we declined about 15 times before he got the idea, the driver delivered us back to our cottages, where we are having a brief rest before heading out to get some lunch. We're starting to get into the mode of having late meals, since we've discovered that a 7 o'clock dinner is ridiculously early here.

Overall we've had a far better time in Bangalore which, while very polluted, seems a lot better organised and modern than Mysore was. And it's really no surprise since this city was virtually the birthplace of web mail as we know it, the inventor of Hotmail having grown up here. There are numerous bars and restaurants to choose from just within walking distance of where we're staying - the only difficult thing is deciding which to go to!

We head off early tomorrow morning (we're getting picked up at 8 for an 11 o'clock flight, that's how crazy the morning traffic is) to be taken to the airport to fly to Cochin (actually Kochi, but we've long given up on using the correct names of cities since the residents still call them by the English names).

We'll be staying at the Taj Malabar, which we've been told is the best hotel in India, even better than the Taj Mahal Palace in Mumbai (and half the price). The hotel is a luxury resort on an island just off the mainland. It's the most expensive place we'll be staying, but we decided we should live it up a bit for our last stay.

We'll be there for two nights and will then go on a houseboat around the Kerala backwaters for another two nights before returning to the Taj Malabar for our final night in India.

Back to civilization

Oh well, drunk again.

Today has been quite unproductive, with the exception that we made it from Mysore to Bangalore. We really did SFA this morning; we slept in, had breakfast and packed - and took 8:30am until 1:30pm to achieve that much. The only thing of note for the morning was the aforementioned band playing school back to class.

The train trip was genuinely uneventful too. Despite what we'd heard, first class really was quite good. We got fed, the seats were spacious and comfortable and it didn't stink. The only downside was being ripped off by porters taking our bags to the train for a ludicrous 100 rupees. We have since determined to carry our own bags, which has already confused the crap out of a few people.

Our latest accommodation is comfortable and well located near the heart of the city. We got dropped here by our tour company, who got lost on the way, and had a beer while waiting for our check in to be finalised. Ironically, the only beer available was Foster's - and it actually wasn't too bad.

Soon after settling in we realised we hadn't eaten anything substantial since breakfast and got ourselves lost on the way to the main eating and drinking centre. After a few dangerous road crossings we found our way to Mahatma Gandhi Road, and made our way to one of the tallest buildings on the street, reputed for its city-view bars. We got ourselves a bit confused, having first got into a lift that only went up two floors, but were aided by local generosity and eventually found our way to the 13th floor, where we chose the nearest available bar. It was virtually empty, so we only had a few beers and enjoyed the city view with the setting sun.

On our way to this place we'd seen another bar that had yet to open (most locals don't eat dinner until after 8pm), and we decided to have a look on our way to dinner. But as you can see, it was pretty appealing, so we ended up staying:

We had an awesome entree of risotto balls with blue cheese, which were sufficiently small to remain bite-sized and munchable. They were seriously good.

Our mains matched, and were really, really tasty. I had a chicken dish called 'Ballantine' and Bec had a Burmese curry which really rocked. We ate far too much and drank similarly - we had beers, G&Ts and rums, and we ended up spending close to Au$100. But it was worth it.

After an auto-rickshaw ride that, expectedly, got us lost, we're now crashing out, and are looking forward to a lazy day of a few sites tomorrow followed by a bit of a Bangalore bar crawl.

Signing off.

Brief observation

Our hotel room in Mysore overlooks a school parade ground. We were just relaxing after breakfast (before a leisurely 2:15 departure by train to Bangalore) when an explosion of drums and wind instruments erupted from outside our third-floor window. Thinking it was some kind of major parade or other cultural activity I rushed to the window to see a small band playing to call students back to class. All the students merged into single file for each class and walked into their tiny rooms in time to the music. The band was made up entirely of students as well; as the last of the students entered their classrooms, the music hit a crescendo and the band, in seconds, packed away their instruments and rushed to class as well.

It was a bit more interesting than the mono-tonal 5-chime bell I was accustomed to...

A better day

Thankfully today has got off to a much better start than yesterday. We began the day with a fairly decent breakfast in the hotel and then decided to take the slightly lame option of getting the travel agent we've been dealing with to organise a car to take us around Mysore's sights. It was a little more expensive than an auto-rickshaw, but a lot more comfortable, which is exactly what we needed!

We started with the drive up Chamundi Hill, 1062 metres high, to visit the Sri Chamundeswari Temple.

We didn't end up going inside due to the usual confusion of where to pay to get in, the concept of leaving our shoes 20 metres away from the entrance which is traversed by cows, monkeys and hundreds of people, and our general disinterest in religious monuments in general. We wandered around the perimeter for a while before heading back to the car.

On the way back down the hill we stopped at the statue of 'Nandi', Shiva's bull, which is carved out of rock.

We also stopped to look at the view of Mysore's city 1000 metres below.

After this the driver used the typical Indian method of bamboozlement and told us he was taking us to the palace, but then we stopped at a non-descript building which he described as the 'Maharani's palace'. We walked in only to discover it was a shop selling fine silk and carpets which, while very nice, we had no interest in buying and had to embarrass ourselves and the owner by walking in and straight out again.

Once we'd escaped the driver actually took us to Mysore's famous Maharaja's Palace.

We weren't allowed to take cameras inside, but the outside complex itself was far more interesting anyway. The inside, while filled with ridiculously decadent items such as solid silver and cut glass dignitaries' chairs, got kind of boring after a while. The grounds outside the palace were full of grand archways and cool tiger statues:

One unusual observation was the fascination touring Indians had with us. We had a group of young Indian lads insist of having their photos taken with us. We insisted we weren't rock stars or anyone remotely important, but we tolerated it for one shot before realising we could have been there for the long haul, and stormed off like spoiled prima donnas.

Once we were done with the Palace, our driver tried again to convince us to go to the sandalwood factory or the silk emporium, but we managed to convince him that we just wanted to see the markets. So he not only took us to the Devaraja Market, but walked us through what turned out to be the highlight of the day. The whole place was a riot of colour, with whole halls selling single products, such as a wall of bananas, or enormous bowls and strings of flowers.

One of the coolest things was the piles of colours that are used for various purposes such as smearing on the forehead:

We ended at a stall that sold attars, pure essences of flowers and plants. While we hadn't intended to buy anything, the cacophony of smells got the better of us and we ended up buying five different fragrances of Mysore flower, lotus, watermelon, blue moon and night queen. I think we probably ended up paying way more than we needed to because the owner of the stall ushered us inside, brought us cups of masala chai and gave us a bundle of free incense and glass bottles to share out the attars once we get home.

After all this we were pretty much exhausted so we're now back at the hotel and contemplating going out to get some lunch (once again at 3pm). We'll probably just take it easy for the rest of the day and go out to one of the fancier hotels tonight for dinner - and we certainly won't be walking this time after last night's experience!

Addendum - We've just returned from a tasty but rather bizarre eating experience in our hotel - in the mezzanine floor restaurant called 'The Cave' in Hindi. The place was literally devoid of natural light and filled with statues, fake flames and staff in silly Rudyard Kipling safari hats. That aside, the food was pretty good and the few beers we had were up to the task. Going to brave a swim soon.

From heaven to filth pit

It had to happen. Following an almost-perfect four days of sun, sand, jovial conversation and great food, we've had a crappy day of purgatory that's taken us from the paradise that is Palolem through nearly five hours of car travel, two of plane travel and a lot of wasted time to a filthy wasteland. A 5am start got us to a plane flight by 8:15, followed by a crazy long drive from the Bangalore airport to Mysore, with a pointless and undesirable stop at what our driver told us was a beautiful, relaxing river view but was instead a kickback and lunch break for him only 15 minutes from our destination. I was not amused, especially since we only bought water, which appeared to have been pre-opened and was hence ditched.

Our hotel is adequate, which is good since we've spent a lot of time here. After getting in we went for a quick walk attempting to get our bearings and only finding lunch. We had an aloo gobhi and dahl fry with chapattis, which was really good for only 119 rupees, or about $3. We came back to the hotel room - after getting lost - and caught up on some much-needed sleep. We struggled to get ourselves moving again but we eventually got out and about in search of a decent hotel to have a drink and a safe dinner, again we got lost and found a vegetarian place we'd considered going when we were actually hungry, and decided to just snack there regardless. There was no alcohol, but we had a second mega-cheap dinner, this one only costing 57 rupees.

Given it was ridiculously early we decided to have a drink in our hotel bar, a rock club. It sucked. It was loud, dark and dank and full of smokers. We had one drink and we're back, looking at an early night in order to get all the requisite tourist business done.

This place, so far, really seems to epitomise what we'd expected India to be - filth covers the streets, the sky is coated in a hazy film, and people don't hesitate to urinate openly in the street, as we discovered soon after dinner on an ill-advised way back. And far from the delicate scent of sandalwood that we'd been told of, the whole place smells alternately of sewerage and burning rubber. We've since resolved to get motor rickshaws everywhere to minimise our contact with the ground.